The day the Music Died
by Cathy1
Summary: Snape drinks a song potion and can't stop singing and dancing. He is also nice to Harry and his friends. Can Harry find the antidote? Can Snape defeat Voldemort? Read and find out. Plz R/R!
1. The Potion

The day the Music Died.  
  
Summary: What would happen if Snape drank a song potion by mistake and sang songs all day? Would this help to defeat Voldemort? Read and find out. Plz R/R.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any other characters from the books because if I did I would be sitting in a huge mansion sipping champagne. Okay?  
  
"I can't believe that miserable old git gave you detention for arguing with Malfoy and he started it!" cried Ron Weasley indignantly.  
  
"I know," sighed Harry miserably.  
  
He had just come from potions and Snape had given him detention for answering back to his worst enemy, Draco Malfoy. Of course Malfoy hadn't gotten detention. Snape was head of Slytherin and favoured them.  
  
"Well you should have just ignored Malfoy. You know he just wanted to get you in trouble!" said Hermione.  
  
"Come on Hermione what else could he do? That little git was insulting his parents!" shouted Ron.  
  
Harry left Ron and Hermione arguing and started off for his detention, which was to take place in the dungeons.  
  
Snape was waiting for him.  
  
"Five minutes late Potter? Let me see, 50 points for Gryffindor" said Snape silkily.  
  
Harry knew he hadn't been late but he also knew that if he argued Gryffindor would lose more points so he kept quiet.  
  
"You will be scrubbing the walls of all the potion that idiot Longbottom exploded all over them and I want them to be clean in half a hour when I get back!" Snape walked out slamming the door behind him.  
  
Scowling Harry began to scrub the walls. He hated Snape and Snape hated Harry.  
  
He noticed a goblet on Snape's desk filled with pumpkin juice. Making up his mind quickly he tipped the juice down the sink and filled the goblet with a strange looking liquid from the side of the room.  
  
When Snape returned he scowled at Harry, muttered something about Harry being incompetent and said he would watch Harry work.  
  
He sat down at his desk and lifted the goblet to his lips. Harry watched excitedly as Snape drank deeply.  
  
"Potter what are you looking at? Get back to work now!" shouted Snape furiously.  
  
Harry sighed and turned back to the wall. The potion hadn't done anything.  
  
Suddenly he heard a noise behind him. Swinging round he was surprised to find Snape.dancing?  
  
"Am I supposed to leave you now when you're looking like that?" sang Snape.  
  
"Ah Harry!" cried Snape acting like he had just noticed him. "How are you my boy?"  
  
"Fine" muttered Harry.  
  
"What are you doing there?"  
  
"Um..well I'm cleaning the walls like you told me to Sir" replied Harry.  
  
"Cleaning the walls?" Snape looked horrified. "That's for the house elves to do! You run along now Harry and be careful!" He patted Harry's head gently.  
  
Harry escaped the dungeons feeling shocked and excited at what he had just done. Looking back he realised Snape was now wearing a pink apron while cleaning the walls.  
  
"Whistle while you work la la la la la!" sang Snape.  
  
Fighting the urge to collapse laughing Harry ran to tell Ron and Hermione.  
  
This was going to be interesting.  
  
Did you like it? Plz review and Chapter two will be coming soon with appearances from Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. 


	2. Voice of an Angel

The day the Music Died  
  
I was bored so I decided to write Chapter Two! In this chapter we get to see how the students and teachers are coping with Snape's..err.change. Plz R/R but be nice I'm feeling moody today and one more bit of bad news will finish me off. Only joking be as nasty as you like. I won't cry.  
  
Disclaimer: As much as I hate to admit it I don't own Harry Potter or anything to do with it.sob sob! That has now finished me off. Suicide here I come.  
  
Everybody had now noticed the change in Snape. He would go around wearing a big smile on his face singing and dancing giving house points for no reason.  
  
Madam Pomfrey had noticed and tried to give him some medicine but he assured her he was fine and thanked her for her concern.  
  
The three people who were enjoying it most were Ron, Hermione and Harry. They were the only ones who knew what had happened.  
  
Tuesday came and it had been three days since Snape had drank the potion. Harry, Ron and Hermione were in the common room and Harry had just received a letter from Sirius.  
  
Dear Harry,  
  
How are you? I'm hiding out at Lupin's still but we are coming up to the school on Thursday to visit Dumbledore. Meet me by the lake at 6.00p.m and we'll talk there. Can't wait to see you.  
  
Love Sirius xx  
  
P.s Remus says he hopes your well.  
  
Harry had just finished reading it aloud to Ron and Hermione.  
  
"Harry, Sirius doesn't know about Snape! This is gonna be so funny!" whispered Ron.  
  
Harry frowned. "I just hope he doesn't get caught"  
  
"Don't worry Harry. Nobody apart from us, Dumbledore and Lupin knows that he is an Animagus." Hermione reassured him.  
  
"I've just thought when do you recon that Potion will wear off? It can't last forever can it?" wondered Harry.  
  
Just at that moment the Weasley twins came over.  
  
"Hey Harry! Snape wants to see you." Said George.  
  
"Why?" replied Harry confused?  
  
"We dunno. We were just about to pull a prank on Filch when the greasy slime ball comes over and says that he's been looking for you and would we be kind enough to fetch you? I swear Harry he's gone mad!" said Fred.  
  
"Yeah he's just given us 100 points each for smiling!" cried George.  
  
"Well I better go and see him," said Harry.  
  
He climbed through the portrait hole and hurried to Snape's office.  
  
"Ah Harry! Come in! Come in!" smiled Snape.  
  
Harry went in and sat down. With horror he realised that Snape was pouring some more of the potion into his goblet.  
  
Seeing where Harry was looking Snape smiled.  
  
"Oh that's a new drink I found in my goblet! Rather nice! I've been drinking it for days and have discovered the recipe so I'm making more every night! Would you like some?"  
  
"No thanks!" mumbled Harry.  
  
"Oh go on it tastes like cherries!" pleaded Snape.  
  
"No really" muttered Harry.  
  
"Go on"  
  
"No"  
  
"Go on"  
  
"NO!  
  
"GO ON GO ON GO ON GO ON GO ON!"  
  
"NO THANK YOU!"  
  
"Well then I'll get to the point of why I called you here!" said Snape.  
  
"This morning I discovered something wonderful! I have the singing voice of an angel!" cried Snape gleefully. "Do you wish to hear me sing?"  
  
"Um..Ok?" replied Harry.  
  
"And I.I.I.will always love you! Oooh!" crooned Snape.  
  
Harry covered his ears and ran out. It was awful.  
  
"Oh well" sighed Snape. "I'll find someone else to sing to"  
  
On the way out he bumped into Minerva.  
  
"Ah Minerva! Do you wish to hear my beauteous voice?"  
  
"I beg your pardon Severus?" replied Minerva stunned. It was too late.  
  
"I believe in miracles since you came along you sexy thing!"  
  
Minerva ran away screaming.  
  
Snape set out in hope of finding someone who appreciated his voice. He spotted Hagrid carrying some plant pots with Professor Sprout.  
  
He walked over to them.  
  
"Over seas from coast to coast to find the place I love the most where the skies are blue to see you once again my love!" Hagrid fainted.  
  
"I have a dream!" Now it was Sprout's turn to drop down in a dead faint.  
  
"Oh dear nobody wishes to hear my spiffing voice!" cried Snape in alarm.  
  
Suddenly the familiar pain burned from the mark on his arm.  
  
"The master!" he cried delightfully. Maybe he wants to hear me sing! He's such a jolly old toffee!" With this thought in his head Snape apparated to Voldemort.  
  
End of Chapter Two! Do you like it? I was in a really weird mood so here we are. Plz Review. Next Chapter we'll see how Voldemort reacts to the new Snape. 


	3. Voldemort, Wormtail and the TimeWarp

1 The day the Music died  
  
Third Chapter is now up!! Yeah!! In this chapter we see how Voldemort reacts to the new Snape.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters. The storyline is mine though. Do I really have to say all this? Everyone knows I'm not intelligent enough to write Harry Potter for God's sake!  
  
Snape appeared at Voldemort's side and fell to his feet kissing his robes.  
  
"Well Severus I suppose you know why I'm calling you here?" said Voldemort.  
  
"To hear my wondrous singing?" replied Snape hopefully.  
  
"WHAT?" shouted Voldemort.  
  
"No? Well I could just hum for you or maybe whistle?" replied Snape.  
  
"Severus what the hell has gotten into you?" yelled Voldemort.  
  
"Why nothing Master. I just love singing!" he smiled sweetly.  
  
"Damn!" cursed Voldemort. "Obviously this is some kind of spell!"  
  
"Spell?" asked Snape innocently.  
  
"Severus I need you to bring Harry Potter to me"  
  
"Why?" asked Snape.  
  
"Why? WHY? TO KILL HIM YOU HALF WITTED IDIOT!" screeched Voldemort losing all control.  
  
"Kill Harry Potter? Master you can't do that. Harry is a simply wonderful person. He's so kind and funny and.." Snape stopped at the look on Voldemort's face.  
  
"POTTER! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!" screamed Voldemort. "HE CAST THIS SPELL!"  
  
"What spell? Master you are obviously confused. Harry would never change me. He's so kind and friendly and..Is something the matter my Lord?" said Snape gently.  
  
"Do you realise what you are saying about that fool?" asked Voldemort furiously.  
  
"You just jealous that I'm not saying it about you. Master I think your great and all but Harry is marvellous!" replied Snape indignantly.  
  
"Crucio!" cried Voldemort pointing his wand at Snape. Snape writhed on the floor in agony under the Cruciatus curse.  
  
"Ha! So Severus do you now know where your loyalties lie? Hmm? What does the pain feel like Severus?" laughed Voldemort standing over him.  
  
"It..feels..like.Fire bum bum bum bum bum I need you to burn!" sang Severus still gasping in pain.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! Wormtail!" screamed Voldemort.  
  
A small man waddled in looking scared.  
  
"Y.Yes master?" he asked fearfully.  
  
"Potter has put some sort of spell over Severus which is making him love Potter and sing all the time!" said Voldemort angrily.  
  
"S.Should I kill Severus sir?" asked Wormtail.  
  
"No I think we could use this against Potter. I think we could capture Potter once and for all using this idiot" he gestured to Snape who was now doing the Timewarp.  
  
"How my Lord?"  
  
"Fetch Lucius Wormtail. I have a plan," replied Voldemort grinning evilly.  
  
Wormtail scurried from the room.  
  
"Now I shall have Potter once and for all!" cried Voldemort. "Mwahaha! Mwahahahaha! Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!"  
  
He was interrupted by someone tapping his shoulder.  
  
"Err..Master? Will you dance with me?" asked Snape timidly.  
  
"Not now Severus!" snapped Voldemort. "I am busy!"  
  
He began to walk out of the room.  
  
"Where are you going Master?" called Snape.  
  
"For a walk. I'm planning to kill a few muggles on the way," replied Voldemort.  
  
"But sir you can't go out there!" cried Snape running after him.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Cos Voldie it's cold outside!"  
  
"I really can't stay!"  
  
"But Voldie it's cold outside!"  
  
"I've got to go away!"  
  
"But Voldie it's cold outside"  
  
By now Voldemort was really getting into it.  
  
"This evening has been so very . hey what am I doing I'm evil?"  
  
"And a great singer sir!" smiled Snape.  
  
"Severus go back to Hogwarts now!"  
  
Snape apparated where he bumped into.  
  
End of Chapter three. Like it? Hate it? Review it Plz! Next Chapter we'll meet Sirius and Remus. Bye xx Cathy 


	4. Ballgowns and Chandeliers

The day the music died Chapter 4  
  
I know I'm writing this very quickly aren't I? 4 chapters in a day! Isn't she amazing I hear you all cry! So I like writing? Sue me! (Don't really as I just can't be bothered phoning a lawyer or going to court etc) Bye xx Oh and thanx for everyone who has been reviewing all my stories even though they're quite crap!  
  
Disclaimer: Is this really necessary? Okay Okay I don't own Harry Potter blah blah blah. I only said all that so the men in blue don't come and cart me off.  
  
Snape apparated back to Hogwarts where he bumped into..  
  
"Oh Headmaster forgive me I didn't see you there!" cried Snape.  
  
"Not to worry Severus. May I ask where you've been?" replied Dumbledore.  
  
"My Master and I were having a singing session," smiled Snape.  
  
"I beg your pardon? You and Voldemort were singing?" gasped Dumbledore.  
  
"I'm sorry Headmaster but I must dash. I need to see Harry. He rushed off in a hurry before. I do hope I haven't upset him. I could never forgive myself if I had" With that Snape rushed off leaving behind a very confused Dumbledore.  
  
It was Thursday evening and Harry was by the lake in his Invisibility Cloak waiting for his godfather. Eventually a great black dog came and rubbed against Harry.  
  
"Hello Snuffles!" smiled Harry.  
  
The dog got up and walked behind a tree and Harry followed.  
  
When he got there Sirius had already transformed.  
  
"Sirius it's great to see you!" cried Harry.  
  
Sirius pulled his godson into a bone crushing bear hug.  
  
"Woah! Calm down!" gasped Harry rubbing his chest.  
  
"Sorry but I've missed you!" apologised Sirius.  
  
At that moment Severus Snape stepped out from behind a tree. Sirius snarled.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he asked menacingly.  
  
" Hello there Sirius! I was just looking for Harry here." Replied Snape smiling.  
  
"What do you want with my godson?" growled Sirius.  
  
"I just wanted to see how he was. He seemed a bit low today in my lesson"  
  
"I'm fine Sir," giggled Harry. He was enjoying this.  
  
"Glad to hear it. Well I'll be off then! Cheerio!" Snape started walking off.  
  
Sirius was sitting there with his mouth hanging open.  
  
Snape turned round and said  
  
"Oh and remember Harry when you do feel sad Always look on the bright side of life la la la la la la la la!" He went up to the castle.  
  
"What the-" Sirius was stunned.  
  
"Harry quickly explained what had happened. When he finished Sirius roared with laughter.  
  
"It's something your father would have done Harry!" he cried wiping his eyes.  
  
"Come on let's go up to the castle. I can't wait to see Lupin!" said Harry.  
  
When they walked into the Great Hall they found a shocking site.  
  
The teachers were screaming at Snape who looked as though he was enjoying himself.  
  
He was swinging from one of the chandeliers in a ball gown singing  
  
"The phantom of the opera!"  
  
"Severus get down!" screamed Minerva.  
  
Sirius was beside himself with laughter and so were the pupils. Suddenly their laughter turned to screaming as Snape fell from the chandelier landing with a thud in Draco Malfoy's plate of baked beans.  
  
Snape sat up uninjured and exclaimed  
  
"I've been called a jolly old bean before but this is going too far!"  
  
Realising he had broken his wrist he was taken to Madam Pomfrey.  
  
Sirius turned to Harry.  
  
"What Was that?" 


	5. Attack on Hogsmeade

The day the music died part 5.  
  
Chapter 5 is here! Thanx to everyone who reviewed it for me. And yes Queen will be in this chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: Sigh. Do I really have to do this? Okay okay. I don't own Harry Potter or anything to do with him even though I wish I did.  
  
"Do you think we should go and see if he's okay?" asked Harry nervously.  
  
Sirius nodded and they set off for the hospital wing. When they reached it they found Madam Pomfrey being harassed by a group of Slytherins.  
  
"Ah Potter! Professor Snape has been asking for you! See if you can calm him down because I can't!" She let Harry and Sirius (as a dog) in where they found Snape standing on the bed singing and using one hand to conduct the music.  
  
"Will you let me go? No no no no no! Mamma Mia mamma mia let me go! Bee.Harry how splendid to see you old chap!"  
  
He jumped down and hugged Harry.  
  
"I'm glad to see your okay Sir," mumbled Harry awkwardly.  
  
"Oh Harry your just too sweet!" blushed Snape.  
  
"Erm.. Thanks?" replied Harry.  
  
"Not at all dear boy."  
  
Sirius transformed into a man and sat down next to Harry.  
  
"Harry" he whispered. " We're gonna have to change him back soon you know? You can't keep him like this forever."  
  
Harry was about to reply when Snape keeled over in pain clutching his arm.  
  
"Oh marvellous! The master wishes to view me the jolly old stick! Maybe he wants to hear about my little adventure. Wormtail will love to hear it too I'm sure!"  
  
Sirius and Harry frowned at Pettigrew's nickname.  
  
"I better go now Harry. Parting is such sweet sweet sorrow," said Snape hugging Harry and Sirius.  
  
"Goodbye my friend! It's not the end," sang Snape.  
  
"GO!" shouted Harry and Sirius at the same time. Snape apparated.  
  
"What do you reckon Voldemort wants? Do you reckon we should go and get Dumbledore?" At that moment Lupin burst in gasping.  
  
"Sirius they need you down there! Hogsmeade is being attacked by death eaters!"  
  
End of Chapter 5. Next chapter will see if Snape is helping the Death Eaters. Will Wormtail be caught? Will Sirius ever be free? What is Voldemort's plan to kill Harry? And did Malfoy get his baked beans? It's all too too much! 


	6. Voldemort's Plan

The day the music died part 6.  
  
Hey hey Chapter 6 is here! Thanx for everyone whose been reviewing! I love you all!  
  
Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter. I am Jk Rowling in disguise! Joking!  
  
Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Alastor Moody, Mundungous Fletcher, Arabella Figg, and Professors McGonagall, Dumbledore and Sprout apparated to Hogsmeade which was under attack from Death Eaters.  
  
People were running around screaming, some were being levitated in the air, some were dead and Dementors were going around giving the Kiss to anyone they came across. One Death Eater caught their eye however.  
  
It was Severus Snape their spy not even wearing a Death Eaters mask. He was wearing a pink ballet dress and twirling around singing  
  
"Near far wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on! Oooh!"  
  
"Severus what are you doing?" shouted Dumbledore.  
  
"Why Sir isn't it obvious? I am entertaining this jolly crowd. See how they scream in delight? How they are literally floating on air? The Dementors are so thrilled I'm performing that they're kissing everyone!" cried Snape delighted.  
  
"You idiot!" cried Lupin angrily. "They are screaming with pain, they are being levitated and the Dementors are sucking their souls out!"  
  
"Ah it becomes oh so clear now!" gasped Snape looking crestfallen.  
  
"Finally!" sighed McGonagall.  
  
"Your just jealous of my talent!" continued Snape.  
  
"No Severus.." began Dumbledore but Snape interrupted.  
  
"Don't speak I know what your saying so please stop explaining don't tell me 'cos it hurts!"  
  
"Come on we don't have time for this we have to save everyone," said Sprout.  
  
They ran off to fight the Death Eaters leaving Snape singing.  
  
Finally they drove the Dementors off. Gasping Dumbledore turned to Snape.  
  
"Severus you go with Voldemort and come back to Hogwarts to tell us of any plans he is making. He won't give up too easily."  
  
Snape obeyed and apparated at Voldemort's side.  
  
"Severus there you are!"  
  
"Dumbledore sent me sir!" said Snape.  
  
"WHAT? WHY?" Yelled Voldemort.  
  
"He is trying to kill you?" suggested Snape.  
  
"I know that you fool but why did he send you??"  
  
"Ah sir so many questions, so little answers. Why do birds suddenly appear when you are near? Just like me they long to be close to you!" sang Snape.  
  
"STOP!" yelled Voldemort.  
  
"Now here's the plan," continued Voldemort. "Wormtail will take some Polyjuice Potion ad go to Hogwarts. We will tell Dumbledore that I'm going to attack Hogsmeade again so they'll all go off there. Then Wormtail will lead Harry Potter into the Forbidden Forest where I will be waiting. We will bring him here and I'll owl Dumbledore. We will kill Dumbledore and Harry Potter at the same time!"  
  
Wormtail came forward and took some hair from Snape's head.  
  
Coincidentally Snape began singing 'Grease Lightening' at that moment.  
  
"Now I shall kill them and the world will be mine! Mwaha . Mwahahahaha! Mwahahahahahahahaha!" laughed Voldemort. He was once again interrupted by a tapping on his arm.  
  
"Er.. Sir? I couldn't help hearing that you were going to kill Harry Potter!" said Snape.  
  
"That's right!" replied Voldemort.  
  
"No sir you can't!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"'Cos that won't impress me much."  
  
"Aaaargh!" screamed Voldemort and stormed out the room.  
  
"All alone" sighed Snape. "All by myself, don't wanna be all by myself!"  
  
He tried the windows and doors but they were locked. He needed to warn Harry but how?  
  
Meanwhile the Death Eaters were on their way to Hogwarts to find the Boy who Lived.  
  
Bum bum bum! Will Snape get out? Will Voldemort's plan work? Will Snape stop singing? Will Draco ever get his beans? Find out in the next enthralling episode coming soon! 


	7. Snape's love affair?

The day the music died part 7  
  
Hello! Thanx to everyone who has been reviewing this story! You have all made me so happy! (Wipes eyes). Loads of you have told me that you can't apparate or disapparate in the Hogwarts grounds so let's say Snape had a charm on him which let him break these rules okay?  
  
Disclaimer: I refuse to say it! I won't say it! All right all right! I don't own Harry Potter.  
  
Harry Potter sat alone in the Gryffindor common room. His friends were all in bed but Harry had been unable to sleep. Suddenly Snape came bursting in the common room.  
  
"Harry my boy how the devil are you?" he cried happily.  
  
"Fine sir" sighed Harry. He was too tired to deal with Snape now.  
  
"Good because Dumbledore needs to see you immediately!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know but come with me"  
  
Harry reluctantly got up and followed Snape. To Harry's surprise Snape led him right into the Forbidden Forest.  
  
"Err. Sir why are we here?" But Snape was looking over his shoulder. Turning round Harry was horrified to see a bunch of Death Eaters. Before he could say anything Snape hit him over the head with something heavy and Harry was surrounded by darkness.  
  
  
  
When Harry woke up he was in a dimly lit room. Something told him he wasn't alone. It may have been the fact that someone was doing the can-can while singing, "Who let the dogs out?" It was Snape.  
  
"Harry your awake! Wormtail drank some Polyjuice Potion with a hair from my head and brought you here. I would have told you but I was locked up on my own!" Snape smiled sweetly.  
  
Harry sat up and realised what Snape was wearing.  
  
"Err. sir why are you wearing that leather boob tube?" asked Harry dreading the answer.  
  
"Because man! I feel like a woman!" sang Snape. He started dancing.  
  
"Uh-oh" said Harry but it was too late.  
  
"You don't have to be rich to be my girl you don't have to be cool to rule my world. Ain't no particular sign I just want your extra time and you kiss!"  
  
"I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea won't somebody help me?"  
  
"Oh Sir" sighed Harry. "Everything was going perfect at first. You were nice to me and everyone else and were always cheerful but then.."  
  
"I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you?" suggested Snape.  
  
"By singing all the bloody time!" finished Harry.  
  
"Harry language language!" cried Snape.  
  
Harry sighed and closed his eyes. Suddenly someone burst in the room. It was Wormtail.  
  
"Come on Potter. The master wants to torture you now. He will kill you later after you have suffered everything he has these past fifteen years thanks to you!" said Wormtail. He grabbed Harry.  
  
"Wormtail stop in the name of love before you break my heart!" sang Snape.  
  
"Shut up Severus!" snapped Wormtail angrily. "The master has no use for you. I will throw you out in a minute"  
  
"No! You're killing me softly!" gasped Snape.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"  
  
Harry kicking and screaming was dragged out. In his rage Wormtail left the door open. Snape rushed out of it.  
  
He ran to Hogwarts where he met McGonagall, Lupin Sirius and Dumbledore.  
  
"Voldemort has Harry!" he gasped.  
  
Dumbledore went to call together the aurors.  
  
"Why?" sobbed Sirius. "Why can't we capture Voldemort? The evil git!"  
  
"I'll tell you why!" cried Snape. "'Cos Voldemort's a mystery guy he's called the hidden paw. He's the master criminal who can defy the law. He's powers of levitation would make a fakir stare and when you reach the scene of crime Lord Voldemort's not there! Lord Voldemort Lord Voldemort there's no one like Lord Voldemort.!  
  
"NOOOOO!" cried Lupin running out screaming.  
  
"I want to find Harry!" cried Sirius angrily.  
  
"I want to shut Severus up!" growled McGonagall.  
  
"I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike!" sang Snape.  
  
"I am not staying to listen to him. I will go help Albus!" Sirius walked out.  
  
"Well Minerva guess it's just you and me!" purred Snape.  
  
"Severus" began Minerva but Snape was leaning in.  
  
"Me and Minerva all alone in the office I feel as though I'm going to"  
  
"Yes Severus"  
  
"As though I'm going to.."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"As though I'm going to kiss her"  
  
He leaned in.  
  
"But Minerva you do know your not the only one in my life?"  
  
"WHAT?" screamed Minerva.  
  
"Sorry but I couldn't resist. A little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit of.."  
  
Dumbledore interrupted them.  
  
"Take us to Voldemort's lair!" he commanded.  
  
Like it? I don't but oh well. Next chapter we will see if Harry gets rescued and if Snape will defeat Voldemort. Will he ever get the antidote? Does he even want to? Who knows? Who cares? Bye! R/R! luv Cathy xx 


	8. Author's Note

1 Author's Note  
  
  
  
Okay here's the deal. I will finish this story if people send me some song suggestions because I want to see how people's minds work. Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing this story and I PROMISE I will get another chapter out before Christmas. If you have ay suggestions please email me on cathyheathcliffuk@yahoo.co.uk  
  
In the meantime please check out my other humour stories The Jerry Springer show and Things Harry Potter characters would never say. I also have some Angst fics but I don't think they're worth bothering with. I will do another chapter soon I swear. Thanks for reading this note. Bye! 


	9. The Battle

The day the music died part 9!  
  
Thanx for all of you people who have been reviewing and giving me song suggestions. I will probably be deleting the author's note soon.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.  
  
Dumbledore, Snape, McGonagall, Sirius and Lupin were all on their way to Voldemort's lair with Snape leading the way.  
  
"Can't we just apparate?" sighed Sirius wearily.  
  
"No the master has a special charm which only enables Death Eaters to apparate to him" explained Snape cheerily. He was enjoying this 'little adventure'.  
  
They battled their way through trees and hedges and finally came to a huge house.  
  
"I made it through the wilderness!" snag Snape.  
  
"Don't you even dare!" snapped McGonagall.  
  
"Now Minerva you and Severus wait here. We'll go and get Harry!"  
  
They disappeared leaving Snape and McGonagall alone..again.  
  
"Well Minerva guess it's just you and me!" said Snape in his sexiest voice.  
  
"Don't start that again Severus I'm not in the mood!" sighed McGonagall.  
  
"But Minerva....I love you, please say you love me too! These three words they can change our lives forever and I promise you that we will always be together 'till the end of time! Boo boo boo boo boo! Oooooooh!" crooned Snape.  
  
"Oh Severus I love you too but please not Celine Dion!" cried McGonagall.  
  
"Oh sweet love...you're my little poochyface!" sang Snape.  
  
"And you're my teddybear!"  
  
"Together we're an oochy poochy woochy coochy pair!" they both sang.  
  
Suddenly they were both stunned and dragged off by Death Eaters.  
  
When they awoke they were in a cold dungeon filled with Death Eaters.  
  
"Professors!" shrieked a familiar voice.  
  
"Harry my boy!" cried Snape hugging Harry.  
  
Two Death Eaters came and pulled them both apart.  
  
"No let go of me you damned fools! Let me go!" shouted Snape.  
  
"Why should we?" sneered one Death Eater.  
  
"Because I'm outta love set me free, let me out their misery show me the way to get my life again, you can't handle me!"  
  
He was hit over the head but kept on singing.  
  
"I'll destroy you all! Everybody was Kung fu fighting! Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun! Everyone was a little bit frightened! Ha ha hoo cha!"  
  
The Death Eaters watched in astonishment as Snape attempted to do a karate chop.  
  
"Damn! They are resisting my powers!" Snape whispered to McGonagall. " I'll cause a distraction and you knock them out!"  
  
With those words the brave Snape jumped up onto a balcony above his head and shouted to them all  
  
"Listen Death Eaters! Listen to my wondrous singing!"  
  
Then he began to sing.  
  
"Don't cry for me Argentina the truth is I never left you, I'm undeserving of such attention!"  
  
By this time all the Death Eaters were humming along.  
  
"STOP!" Voldemort came rushing in looking furious. " Snape I'll kill you!"  
  
"Ha Voldemort I'd like to see you try for I have a fate worse than death! I shall now sing the worst song known to mankind!" cried Snape.  
  
"No!" gasped Voldemort. "Not...."  
  
"If you wannabe my lover you gotta get with my friends, make it last forever, frisdship never ends!"  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaargh!" the Death Eaters screamed. "I'm melting!"  
  
Slowly the Death Eaters dissolved into the ground.  
  
"Snape I will kill you! You've gone too far this time!" screamed Voldemort.  
  
"Avada Kedavra!"  
  
Snape heard death rushing towards him but suddenly someone dived in front of him.  
  
It was McGonagall.  
  
"Fool! She didn't have to die!" sneered Voldemort.  
  
Snape dived at Voldemort.  
  
"You killed her! You killed her! Now I destroy you! I'm going out tonight, I'm feeling alright I'm gonna let it all hang out!  
  
"Noooooooo! Shania Twain!" shrieked Voldemort covering his ears.  
  
"When money grows on trees, your still the one, that don't impress me much!"  
  
Suddenly Snape stopped.  
  
"What's the matter Voldie? Can't you handle this? Voldie can you handle this? I don't think you can handle this! Is my body too Bootylicious for you Voldie?"  
  
"Wait stop! Snape....I am your father!"  
  
"WHAT?!" Cried Snape.  
  
A voice above his head startled him.  
  
"Severus no! It's a trick! He has his wand!" It was Dumbledore.  
  
It was true. Voldemort once again uttered the killing curse.  
  
This time Snape knew no one would save him..but he hadn't counted on Harry.  
  
Oooh a cliffhanger! Want me to do more? R/R! 


	10. Battle of the Songs

The day the music died part 10.  
  
Oh my God I'm on part 10! Yeah! I would like to wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year and thank you all for reviewing my stories.  
  
Harry dived in front of Snape and the curse hit him instead. Everyone watched in amazement as the curse merely hit Harry and disappeared without harming him at all.  
  
"No!" screamed Voldemort furiously. "He has survived the killing curse again! Why?"  
  
"I'll tell you why!" cried Snape. "Cos he's a survivor he's gonna make it he will survive and keep on surviving!"  
  
Harry was shocked. He had just survived the killing curse for the second time. How?  
  
He had no more time to think because slowly all the dissolved Death Eaters were reappearing one by one. They pushed Snape to the ground but he stood back up, straight and tall.  
  
"I get knocked down but I get up again your never gonna keep me down!" he sang.  
  
"Shut up!" screamed Voldemort. "Listen Severus how about you rejoin me? I will be willing to forgive and forget all that has happened if you just come back to our side. How about it?"  
  
As Snape was thinking he didn't see two Death Eaters sneak up behind him. They grabbed him and chained him to the wall.  
  
"Nooooooo!" screamed Snape struggling violently with the ropes. As he struggled the bottle of Song Potion fell out of his pocket. Thinking quickly Harry ran and grabbed the potion.  
  
"You boy!" said Voldemort pointing to Harry. "What is in that bottle?"  
  
"I.I don't know!" said Harry quickly.  
  
"Don't lie to me boy!" snarled Voldemort. Harry looked over his shoulder and saw Sirius, Lupin and Dumbledore being chained to the wall with Snape.  
  
"It's a potion I found. It made Snape sing and dance all the time and like me." He said.  
  
"Aaah! The Potion of Levitius. Interesting. Well Potter this potion makes the drinker sing and dance all the time and it also has another power. Do you know what that is?"  
  
Harry shook his head.  
  
"Well I'll tell you. It also makes the drinker of the potion absolutely adore the person who made him drink the potion. Now I wonder what would happen if I tip this potion down your dear Godfathers throat?" He made a move towards Sirius who struggled violently.  
  
Harry made a furious move towards Voldemort but Wormtail stopped him.  
  
"Wormtail!" barked Voldemort suddenly. "Take dear young Harry into the next room with Severus. Keep and eye on them both. I will force feed Black this potion and then when he adores me I will order him to kill his godson!"  
  
Sirius looked horrified. Wormtail unchained Snape and dragged them both into another cold room. Harry had to act quickly.  
  
"Peter!" hissed Harry. "You owe me something don't you Peter? I saved your life remember?" hissed Harry. Wormtail ignored him. Suddenly Snape burst into song.  
  
"Stand by your man and show the world you love him!" A blow to the mouth silenced him.  
  
"Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?" he continued when Wormtail turned his back.  
  
"Professor!" said Harry. "Do you still remember the recipe to that potion?"  
  
"I remember!" replied Snape while attempting to dance while chained to a wall.  
  
"If only for tonight don't be a stranger!"  
  
"Shut up Severus!" snapped Wormtail. To Harry's surprise he began to unchain them both.  
  
"Thank you!" muttered Harry. Wormtail smiled.  
  
Suddenly Voldemort appeared in the doorway followed by Sirius.  
  
"Now Sirius you will torture Harry until he dies!" laughed Voldemort.  
  
Sirius began to moonwalk towards Harry.  
  
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" cried Snape rugby tackling Sirius.  
  
Snape stood up pinning Sirius down with his foot.  
  
"Now bow down to the terror of Michael Jackson!" cried Snape. Everyone gasped.  
  
Snape suddenly changed into a black suit and cowboy hat.  
  
"It's after midnight something evil's lurking in the dark! Cos this is Thriller thriller nights and no one's gonna save you from this get up get up ow! I am Michael Jackson! Ow!"  
  
"Well I can beat that!" cried Sirius. "Memories all alone in the moonlight, I can smile at the old days. I was beautiful then!"  
  
"No Elaine Paige!" cried Harry covering his ears. "Do something Professor!"  
  
Snape nodded and began singing the worst song known to mankind.  
  
"All my love my darling. I hunger for your touch a long lonely time!"  
  
"Not Unchained Melody!" gasped Voldemort clutching his chest.  
  
"Yes the Robson and Jerome version as well!" grinned Harry. While Voldemort was shivering he slowly crept up behind him and stole the potion from his pocket.  
  
Quickly he grabbed Voldemort and poured the potion down his throat.  
  
"I'll put a spell on you and now your mine! You can't stop the things I do I ain't lying!" Sang Harry. "It's been three hundred years right down to the day, now the wizards back and there's hell to pay. I'll put a spell on you and now your mine!"  
  
He ran to the room where Lupin and Dumbledore were being tortured by Death Eaters. All of them stopped when Harry, Voldemort and Snape ran in.  
  
"Hello Death Eaters my name's Harry. What's yours?" continued Harry. "I'll put a spell on you and it was strong!"  
  
Snape and Voldemort: So strong so strong so strong.  
  
Harry: I'll put a spell on you and now your gone!  
  
Snape and Voldemort: Your gone you're gone so long!  
  
Harry: Your wretched little lives have all been cursed cos of all the wizards working I'm the worst! I'll put a spell on you and now your mine!  
  
Snape Voldemort and Harry: Hey, hey I'll ay by byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  
  
All the Death Eaters were now dancing like maniacs. Smiling Harry ran to untie Lupin and Dumbledore but something hit him on the head, it all went black as Harry slumped to the ground.  
  
Did you like it? Please R/R! 


	11. The Truth comes Out.

The day the music died part 11.  
  
I hope you all had a great Christmas! I will be updating and uploading stories more often from now on. Please R/R!  
  
Disclaimer: I won't even say it! And you know why? 'Cos I'm evil!  
  
When Harry awoke he was in the dungeon again and to his horror Snape was with him. Seeing Harry was awake he came bounding over and helped him sit up.  
  
"Harry my dear dear boy how are you feeling?" asked Snape.  
  
"My head hurts," replied Harry slowly. "What happened?"  
  
"Well it seems Lucius Malfoy broke free of the spell you cast and attacked you! How rather drastic!" explained Snape.  
  
"What are we gonna do Sir?" asked Harry wearily.  
  
"I'll tell you what we're gonna do!" cried Snape. "I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair! Oooh! Oh what a beautiful morning oh what a beautiful day I got a wonderful feeling everything's going my way!"  
  
"Sir? Shut up!" sighed Harry. "Where's Sirius and the others?"  
  
"I do believe that your precious Godfather was given the antidote and the three of them are being tortured!"  
  
Harry gasped imagining his Godfather being tortured.  
  
"Not to worry Harry!" said Snape cheerily. "Plenty more fish in the sea! And even if Sirius does die then we'll always have each other!"  
  
"No! Sirius won't die! We've got to get out of here Professor!" Harry shouted.  
  
"Well now young Harry if you had been awake sooner you could have done something!"  
  
"What are you on about?"  
  
"Harry you are the only living descendant of Godric Gryffindor. That is why Voldemort wanted to kill you and your father. The Book of Prophecies clearly (well not very clearly as dear old Madame Pince spilled coffee all over it) that you shall fight Voldemort and have the rare ability to do magic without a wand!" said Snape.  
  
Harry gasped. He pointed at the huge metal door and it sprung open.  
  
"Good job Voldemort knows nothing of your power hey Harry?" yelled Snape happily.  
  
"Sssh! You idiot!" hissed Harry. They crept through long narrow corridors ducking behind huge suits of armour.  
  
"Um Harry where are we actually going?" asked Snape.  
  
"To find Sirius, Lupin and Dumbledore. Now I have a plan," whispered Harry. "You go and distract them" he motioned to a huge group of Death Eaters and continued "and I'll sneak past them. Got it?"  
  
"Oh Harry! What a stupendous idea! It's wonderful! It's amazing! It's- how do I distract them?"  
  
"Well sir I've heard tell that they simply loved your singing and would simply love to hear you again," grinned Harry. Snape looked ecstatic.  
  
He quickly changed into a Hawaiian outfit and ran in front of them.  
  
He began to sing.  
  
"Coconut hazelnut, fruit savannah, breakfast come and have some fun, hey Mr.Kelloggs man give me your banana- ow!" They had stunned him but it had still given Harry time to sneak past. He came to a room where he heard Sirius' screams.  
  
"No not Harry! Leave him alone!"  
  
Harry with mad resolution walked up to the door but someone grabbed him on the shoulder before he could open it. It was Pettigrew and he was pointing a wand at Harry's heart.  
  
"No!" gasped Harry.  
  
"I'm sorry Harry it's for your own good!"  
  
Pettigrew opened his mouth to mutter a spell.  
  
"Expelliarmus!" Pettigrew's wand rose high in the air and was caught by Harry.  
  
"I can do magic without a wand!" shrugged Harry and slowly opened the door. 


	12. Voldemort and Snape's duet

The Day the Music Died part 12.  
  
Thanks to you all for reviewing. I'm really sorry that I've not written more for ages but I will try and update more often.  
  
Harry burst into the room where Sirius, Lupin and Dumbledore were being tortured.  
  
"Ah Potter you have decided to join us?" sneered Voldemort coldly from behind Harry.  
  
"Let them go Tom!" shouted Harry. "It's me you want it's me you can have!"  
  
"How touching." Sneered Voldemort. "Potter wants to trade himself for those three fools. Well sorry to disappoint you Potter but they're not going anywhere!"  
  
"You however are." Voldemort said. "And do you know where you're going? TO SEE YOUR PARENTS!"  
  
"Crucio!" screamed Voldemort pointing his wand at Harry. Harry lay on the floor screaming in pain.  
  
"Now to finish you off Potter. Avada-"  
  
Harry closed his eyes and waited to die.  
  
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"  
  
Harry looked up and saw Snape tackling Voldemort to the ground.  
  
"Professor!" he gasped.  
  
"Hello there Harry! Our newly found friend dear old sweet Wormtail helped me! Isn't that deliriously wonderful?" cried Snape.  
  
"Professor watch out!" screamed Harry but it was too late.  
  
Voldemort grabbed Snape and held him by his throat.  
  
"Well Severus don't feel so big now do we?"  
  
"Actually no." squeaked Snape.  
  
"You've always been jealous of me Severus. Jealous that I had the power." Sighed Voldemort letting Snape go and walking over to the window.  
  
"No sir!" cried Snape jumping to his feet. "You have always been jealous of me. You've always envied my beauty, my wit, my intelligence and my charm!"  
  
"Professor don't!" cried Harry still weak from the Cruciatus curse. He was too weak to do any magic.  
  
"U.G.L.Y you ain't got no alibi you ugly hey hey you ugly!" sang Snape.  
  
Snape walked over to Harry.  
  
"He's such a pretty face but boy he's got a head full of air!" sang Snape pointing at Voldemort.  
  
Voldemort whirled around.  
  
"How dare you? HOW DARE YOU? Hey wait a minute did you just call me pretty?" asked Voldemort stunned.  
  
"I did Voldie!" cried Snape.  
  
"Why Severus I don't know what to say!" blushed Voldemort.  
  
"And Voldie you always were fantastic at singing the guinea pig song! Before you kill me will you sing it with me one last time?"  
  
Voldemort agreed.  
  
Voldemort: And when he smiled he's just a grinny pig.  
  
Snape: And when he drives he's a mini pig.  
  
Voldemort: And when he smokes he's a naughty nicotinny pig.  
  
Both: That's that Guinea Pig of ours.  
  
By now Harry's strength was slowly returning.  
  
Snape: When he says don't he's a strict disciplinny pig.  
  
Voldemort: And when he eats Chinese then he's a mandarinny pig.  
  
Snape: And when he plays strings he's a Russian violinny pig.  
  
Both: That's that guinea pig of ours.  
  
Harry slowly stood up and tried to summon his strength.  
  
Voldemort: And when he throws he's a jolly javelinny pig.  
  
Snape: Then he gets on his toes and does a watch me spinny pig.  
  
Voldemort: And when he slows he's been a one too many ginny pig.  
  
Harry felt power surging to his fingertips. He just needed Snape to keep singing the guinea pig song with Voldemort.  
  
Snape: When he goes out he's not an inny pig.  
  
Voldemort: When he turns over a new leaf then he's a new beginny pig.  
  
Snape: And when he dies he'll be a has been a pig.  
  
Voldemort: And we'll put him in the binny pig with flowers.  
  
Both: And say farewell to that old grinny violinny madarinny in a pinny skinny guinea pig of ours.  
  
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Harry screamed. Green light shot from his fingers heading straight for Voldemort. Both and Voldemort and Snape whipped round. The green light sped towards them.  
  
Snape and Voldemort stood transfixed as the killing curse sped towards them.  
  
A body fell to the floor.  
  
Harry looked down at it. It was Snape.  
  
Don't worry I'm gonna bring Snape back so don't go flaming me! 


End file.
